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Living the Love Commandment: Christian Love in Action

SDA JournalSermonAug 30, 2023

"John 13:34-35 (NIV): 'A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.'" Love is a... (read more)

<blockquote>"John 13:34-35 (NIV): 'A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.'"</blockquote>
Love is a powerful emotion. It can bring joy and peace to our lives, and it can also bring pain and sorrow. But no matter what, it is a feeling that we cannot ignore. As Christians, we are called to love one another. We are called to be patient, kind, and understanding, and to treat others with respect and compassion.
The Bible is full of examples of God’s love for us. In the Old Testament, God showed his love for the Israelites by leading them through the wilderness and providing for them. In the New Testament, Jesus demonstrated his love for us by dying on the cross for our sins.
God commands us to love one another, and this commandment is not difficult to keep. We can show love to those around us by being generous, forgiving, and encouraging. We can also spread love by simply being there for someone in their time of need.
Love is a beautiful thing, but it is also a powerful force. We must use it to build up and strengthen relationships, not tear them down. We must use it to bring peace and harmony into the world and not to bring chaos and destruction.
We must remember that love is not something that can be taken for granted. It is something that we must actively pursue and nurture. Let us strive to be people of love, and may the love of God be with us always. Amen.

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The Joyful Journey of Marriage

SDA JournalSermonAug 29, 2023

Beloved Brethren, this is a short message to reflect upon the sacred bond of marriage – a journey filled with love, commitment, and shared joy. As we delve into the topic of a happy marriage, let us explore the timeless... (read more)

Beloved Brethren, this is a short message to reflect upon the sacred bond of marriage – a journey filled with love, commitment, and shared joy. As we delve into the topic of a happy marriage, let us explore the timeless principles that guide us in nurturing and cherishing this special relationship.
<blockquote>1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV): "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."</blockquote>
<h4>I. Foundation of Love and Respect:</h4>
A happy marriage is built upon the foundation of love and respect. Just as a strong house needs a solid base, a marriage flourishes when love and respect are its cornerstones. Love is not just an emotion but a conscious choice to put the well-being of your partner before your own. It is patient, kind, and forgiving. Likewise, respect is the recognition of each other's individuality and worth. It involves valuing each other's opinions, feelings, and aspirations.
<h4>II. Effective Communication:</h4>
Communication is the bridge that connects two hearts and minds. In a happy marriage, open and honest communication is essential. Take time to listen to your partner's thoughts and feelings without judgment. Practice active listening – truly hearing what they're saying, not just waiting for your turn to speak. Effective communication also involves expressing your own thoughts and emotions respectfully, fostering a deeper understanding between partners.
<h4>III. Shared Goals and Values:</h4>
A strong marriage is one where partners are united not only in love but also in purpose. Sharing common goals and values helps create a sense of unity and purpose. These shared aspirations become the compass that guides the couple through life's challenges and triumphs. Whether it's in matters of family, career, or personal growth, aligning your ambitions can fortify your bond.
<h4>IV. Embracing Differences:</h4>
No two individuals are exactly alike, and that's what makes a marriage beautiful. Embracing your partner's differences and quirks fosters an environment of acceptance and understanding. Instead of trying to change each other, celebrate the unique qualities that drew you together. Remember, it's the combination of these differences that adds richness and depth to your relationship.
<h4>V. Practicing Gratitude:</h4>
Gratitude is the secret ingredient of a happy marriage. Regularly expressing thankfulness for the little things your partner does can make a world of difference. A simple "thank you" or a heartfelt note can remind both partners of the blessings they bring into each other's lives. Gratitude cultivates a positive atmosphere, strengthening the connection between spouses.
<h4>VI. Weathering Storms Together:</h4>
Life is not without its storms, and a marriage is no exception. The true test of a relationship lies in how partners weather these storms together. Difficulties may arise, but facing them as a team, with unwavering support and commitment, can bring you closer. The storms you conquer together become the chapters of your shared story, reinforcing the strength of your bond.
<h4>VII. Prayer and Unity:</h4>
A strong marriage is one that is bathed in prayer. Praying together as a couple cultivates unity with each other and with God. Inviting God into your marriage allows Him to guide your decisions, provide strength during challenges, and deepen your connection as you grow spiritually together.
<blockquote>Genesis 2:24 (NIV): "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."</blockquote>
<h4>Conclusion:</h4>
In closing, dear friends, a happy marriage is a constant journey, not a final destination. It's a voyage of discovery, growth, and shared experiences. By building upon the foundation of love and respect, fostering effective communication, sharing goals and values, embracing differences, practicing gratitude, and weathering storms together, we can ensure that our marriages are not only sources of joy but also testimonies of enduring love. Let us continually strive to enrich our marriages and create a legacy of love that will inspire generations to come. Amen.

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Three Main Signs of a True Christian

SDA JournalSermonAug 16, 2022

If the 2 billion plus people who are classified as Christians were true Christians we would have a totally different world. We would have lesser number of very poor people, much lesser number of crimes, and an increasing number of... (read more)

If the 2 billion plus people who are classified as Christians were true Christians we would have a totally different world. We would have lesser number of very poor people, much lesser number of crimes, and an increasing number of people who make other people happy.
Unfortunately and very sadly too, most of the 2 billion or more who say they are Christians are false Christians. They are not true as they do not show the signs of a real Christian.
We have fake money bills, fake documents, fake transcripts of records, fake certificates, fake signatures. But the worst and most dangerous counterfeit is not money or document but a fake Christian. The reason is because a fake Christian can create havoc not just in the banks or in employment but in all the sectors of society.
It was fake Christians who have been waging wars all through these centuries, including the two world wars, putting to death millions of human beings.
To recognize who these fake Christians are we need to know the signs of a true Christian. There are three main signs.
First, the true Christian is one who is no longer seeking for something in this world to save himself or make himself happy. If you have been to an Easter Party with an Easter egg, you would know what I mean.
In an Easter Party where the people search for the Easter egg you see children and adults walking around, searching for the coveted Easter egg, a colored egg hidden in furniture, in grass, in other places around the venue of the party. They keep on looking for this Easter egg until it is found. Most of the time there are many of such egg and people look for more and more of them, until the moderator of the game tells the partying people that the total number of Easter eggs have been found.
That is what most people do. They are looking for something that can make them happy. Some people think that this is found in money and more money, and so they acquire more of this. Others think that this is found in having three good meals a day, a sturdy roof over their head, and a set of comfortable clothes. So they work for these from day to day. Still others think that they can find happiness in honor. So they search for ways and means to become celebrities, whether at school, in the movie industry or in politics or in other areas.
The true Christian has found genuine happiness and knows where she has found this, in an encounter with God in Christ. This encounter happens when she has heard personally the word of God spoken to her and she has responded accordingly. Without this personal experience of God addressing oneself there is no real Christian.
This personal experience with the word of God is not something reserved to the saints or great Christians. This is the necessary experience of every true Christian. This makes the person discover where true happiness lies, in Christ and in him alone.
Because of this experience, the true Christian stops looking for something to truly satisfy her thirst for happiness. She has found it and it shows in her life. She does not come and go here and there searching for something to make her happy. She has found happiness and it shows in her demeanor.
The second main sign of a true Christian is that she is learning about the Christ. And this shows in her thoughts and in her words.
A simple but very correct definition of a Christian is that she is a learner of the Jesus, because the basic meaning of "disciple" in Greek is "learner". If a Christian is a disciple of Christ, then she is a learner. She learns something of Jesus every day.
To do this she has a book or a string of beads to meditate on the life and works of the Christ. And she does this not because she has been told to do so by a teacher in religion or Bible study group. She does this because she loves Christ and she wants to know more about him. This is done on a daily basis, not once in a while.
This second sign of a true Christian disqualifies almost all those who even go to church daily or once a week to be called real Christians. This is because they are content with going to church daily or once a week and never advance in their personal knowledge of Christ.
The third sign of a true Christian is something that Jesus himself said was the true sign of his followers. And this sign is something that cannot be faked. It is so simple and yet it cannot be produced by mere human effort. It is produced by God in us and through us. Unless this sign is clear in our lives we cannot say that we are real Christians.
This third sign is love.
But is it not just a wishy-washy kind of love. It is love that endures through death and even beyond death. It is not a fine feeling for the person next to you whom you happen to like.
Beyond love of God and love of neighbor, this is love of other true Christians. The true Christian senses a deep affinity with other true Christians, an affinity stronger than family ties. And she loves the other true Christians not with her human love but with the love of Christ himself.
Now, how is this love of Christ himself for the other true Christians shown so that other people can see it? It is shown by caring unto the uttermost, just as Jesus cared for that person to the uttermost.
These are the three main signs of a true Christian: 1) The true Christian no longer is looking for something to make her happy; she has found what makes her totally happy through a personal encounter with the word of God. 2) The true Christian learns about the Christ daily. She discovers something new about the Christ everyday. And she keeps on learning about the Christ. 3) The true Christian has a genuine love for the other true Christians, a love that comes from Jesus himself, shown by caring for the other Christians to the uttermost.
It is not baptism nor any other sacrament, nor doing good deeds to our fellow men, nor going to church and performing religious or church activities that tell others we are true Christians. It is sense of total happiness radiating around us, a continuous desire to learn more of Christ, and genuine Christ's love for the other true Christian that tell others we are true Christians.

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How to Flourish Like David: 5 Keys to Spiritual Growth

SDA JournalSermonAug 13, 2022

David wrote about half of the Psalms. He was a gifted writer and musician, and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, he wrote a plethora of hymns that have resonated with the hearts of God's people for centuries. Psalm 52... (read more)

David wrote about half of the Psalms. He was a gifted writer and musician, and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, he wrote a plethora of hymns that have resonated with the hearts of God's people for centuries.
Psalm 52 is no exception. It ends with these words:
<blockquote>"But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; 
I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever. 
I will praise you forever for what you have done; 
In your name I will hope, for your name is good. 
I will praise you in the presence of your saints." 
Psalm 52:8-9 (NIV 1978)</blockquote>
David experienced much pain and suffering in his life. In his early years, before he became Israel's king, he was the victim of undeserved abuse at the hand of King Saul. And after taking the throne, he brought much turmoil on himself as a result of his adultery with Bathsheba and his murder of her husband Uriah.
Yet through it all, he maintained a life of devotion to God. He is described twice as a man "after God's own heart" (1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22). And here in Psalm 52 we see David reflecting on his life and saying, "I am like a green olive tree" (ESV). Like any tree, a healthy olive tree should have green leaves and bear fruit. This is what a tree is made to do. This is what it means for it to flourish and thrive.
After comparing himself to a mature, fruit-bearing olive tree, David then proclaims what that kind of life looks like. He takes a personal inventory and sees the evidence of God's power at work in his attitudes and actions. And while David praises God for His provision, we get a firsthand account of five spiritual keys which enabled him to pursue and maintain a godly life no matter what.
<h4>Key #1: Acceptance of God's forgiveness.</h4>
"I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God." Note that David says he is like a fruitful tree in the house of God. The temple wasn't built yet, so this could be a reference to the tabernacle, the place where repentant sinners came to acknowledge their sins and offer an animal sacrifice to symbolize the provision of God's grace through the forgiveness of sins. A godly life starts here, with the recognition of our rebellion against God and our need for His mercy. When we repent, God is more than willing to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from our unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). To live a God-pleasing life, David knew that he needed God's forgiveness, as evidenced by his writing of Psalms 32 and 51.
<h4>Key #2: Faith in God's love.</h4>
"I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever." David was a firm believer in the never failing, steadfast love of God. He had a confident conviction in God's unwavering commitment to His people. This faith was based on a profound understanding that God knows what is best for us. He can be trusted because He is trustworthy. We can rely on Him to take care of us through thick and thin, good times and bad. Just like us, David had plenty of both.
<h4>Key #3: Praise for God's work.</h4>
"I will praise you forever for what you have done." At any point in time, David could look back on his life and see what God had done for him. David recognized God as the ultimate source of all he had experienced in life, and he continued to worship God regardless of his circumstances. The beginning of verse 9 can also be translated, "I will thank you forever, because you have done it." David was a thankful man, filled with gratitude for the grace and mercy of God to him, an undeserving sinner.
<h4>Key #4: Hope in God's goodness.</h4>
"In your name I will hope, for your name is good." David was a man of hope. Because of the goodness of God, he had a positive outlook on the future. In Scripture, the word "hope" is not the wishful thinking that says, "I hope I win the lottery." Instead, it is the strong expectation and certain assurance that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28).
<h4>Key #5: Fellowship with God's people.</h4>
"I will praise you in the presence of your saints." David did not trust God in isolation from others. His faith and hope were bolstered by a close relationship with other believers. He lived for God with the people of God. This is one of the indispensable marks of genuine faith -- identification with and involvement in the church of Christ. The genuine Christian life is not a solo flight. It is lived out in the context of the local church -- the family of God, the household of faith.
<h4>Reality Check</h4>
As you reflect on these key characteristics of David's life, I urge you to take an inventory of your own life. How are you doing in each of these areas?
Do you regularly and genuinely confess and forsake your sins, going to God directly to express heartfelt sorrow over your faults, as well as the need for God's power to overcome them? Then, while looking to the death of Jesus as the sole basis for God's forgiveness, you experience the sweet joy of reconciliation with your Savior.
Do you believe in the sovereign, never-changing love of God? To increase that faith, it is essential that you spend much time in the Word, knowing that "faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ" (Romans 10:17).
Do you offer praise and thanks to God for His work on your behalf? A true Christian is increasingly enthralled by God's work of salvation on our behalf through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. We never tire of hearing the good news of the gospel of Christ. It is sweeter than honey and more precious than gold!
Do you find hope in the goodness of God? You do not have to travel far or spend much money to experience God's kindness. Simply open the Bible and you'll find evidence of His grace on every page. Then take a look at your own life and you'll see the same God extending that same grace to you.
Are you actively involved in a local church? Do you enjoy spending time with God's people, worshipping Jesus together, serving Him together, and becoming increasingly like Him together? If not, something is amiss and you are outside the will of God.
By the grace of God and the strength provided by the Holy Spirit, every believer can flourish by living in the presence of God. May this be my experience, and yours as well.

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The Sower (Parable of Jesus)

SDA JournalSermonJun 30, 2022

Matthew 13:1-23 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. Then... (read more)

Matthew 13:1-23
That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Whoever has ears, let them hear.” The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?” He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. This is why I speak to them in parables:
“Though seeing, they do not see; 
though hearing, they do not hear or understand.
In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; 
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. 
For this people’s heart has become calloused; 
they hardly hear with their ears, 
and they have closed their eyes. 
Otherwise they might see with their eyes, 
hear with their ears, 
understand with their hearts 
and turn, and I would heal them.’
But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it. “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

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A Chicken Story

SDA JournalSermonJun 28, 2022

The story is told of Joe the Butcher who had crafty ways of selling his chickens. He had one chicken left, and he didn't want to keep it over the weekend. The pastor of his church came  into the store. He said, "My wife sent me to buy a good size chicken to roast for dinner. We're having my boys come back home from college."

Joe said, "I have just what you need." He went to the freezer and brought out the last chicken, the one nobody wanted, and put it on the scale. He said, "This one is 2 pounds 3 ounces."

The pastor said, "It looks sort of small. Do you have anything else?"

Joe took the chicken back into the freezer and came back with the same chicken, the only one he had. He put it on the scale and this time said, "This one is 3 pounds and five ounces. But since you're a man of God, I'm going to let you have it for the same price."

The pastor said, "Well, thank you, but come to think of it, the way my boys eat, just go ahead and give me both of the chickens, and I'll pay the higher price for them both."

Just when he least expected it, Joe had been caught in a lie. When was the last time when you, like Joe, last time when you was caught in a lie? Although we don't want to admit it, lying is one of the most common sins practiced by so called Christians... Are you one of them?

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It Is Well With My Soul

SDA JournalSermonNov 9, 2021

Horatio Spafford was a successful lawyer and real estate investor living in Chicago in the 1800’s. He and his wife, Anna, were close supporters of Dwight L. Moody, the famous evangelist headquartered in Chicago. The Spaffords had 4 daughters and a son named Horatio Jr. The first tragedy to befall them was the death of their son at age 4 of Scarlet Fever (1870). A year later, in 1871, the great Chicago fire killed hundreds and left more than 90,000 homeless. Spafford had invested heavily in Chicago properties that literally went up in smoke. Still he and his wife focused on helping out others who had suffered loss in the fire.

The Spaffords decided to take a break from all that had happened so they planned a vacation to Europe. Just before leaving for New York to sail to Europe, Horatio was detained by business dealings, and decided to send Anna and the 4 girls on promising to join them as soon as possible. The French ship they were travelling on, “Ville de Havre” was struck by another ship near the middle of their journey and sunk in only 12 minutes. All four daughters died, but Anna was found alive and unconscious hanging to a broken spar that was floating adrift. Of the 307 passengers 226 drowned leaving about 90 passengers and crew to be rescued. Another survivor, Pastor Weiss, quoted Anna as saying, “God gave me 4 daughters. Now they have been taken from me. Some day I will understand why.”

When Anna reached Cardiff she wired her husband the following message dated Dec. 1, 1873: “Saved alone. What shall I do? Mrs. Goodwin, children, Willie Culver lost. Upon receiving the wire, Horatio sought passage on the next available ship to join his grieving wife and bring her home. On that voyage, the ships captain summond Horatio to inform him that according to his coordinates they were passing over the exact spot where his daughters had drowned. Heartsick, Spafford returned to his cabin and with pen in hand poured out his heart to God.

When Peace like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

What ever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

In ways that only the Lord can do, the Holy Spirit begin to minister peace and strength to his troubled soul. In reading these lyrics you can see his faith taking wings and the reality of the Lord’s presence even in his pain. Writing to his wife’s sister while on the ship, he wrote, “On Thursday last we passed over the spot where she went down, in mid ocean, the waters three miles deep. But I do not think of our dear ones there. They are safe, folded, the dear lambs.”

The Spaffords had three other children, two of whom, Bertha and Grace, survived. In 1881 they moved to Jerusalem and established what became known as the “American Colony,” a mission to the poor which did much outreach during World War I. Horatio Spafford died of malaria in Jerusalem on Oct. 16, 1888, just four days short of his 60th birthday. Before he died Horatio wrote “I rely exclusively, exclusively on the power and grace of God in Christ. I am a miracle of grace! Blessed God, how patient thou hast been with me!”

Though the story swirling around this beloved hymn tell of tragedy and loss, the comfort that shines from this beloved hymn reveals that God has the ability to transform tragedy into powerful comfort and blessing. We are reminded of Paul’s admonition in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 (NIV)

Conclusion: Given the opportunity to make a choice, not a one of us would ever choose the crucible of suffering, tragedy, or loss, but Paul had learned from what he suffered, that it is God himself who comforts us in our troubles and passes on to us and through us the ministry of comfort thus enabling us to become comforters of others. In the midst of Horatio Spafford’s pain and loss, came the resonant song that has comforted millions of believers through the years. How a man can write, through the tears of his own loss, “It is well with my soul,” is a testimony to the powerful comfort God’s holy spirit can bring even in the middle of a hard moment in life. No one would wish for the tragedy Spafford suffered, but the testimony of his life gives a practical underpinning to the powerful words of the song he wrote "it is well, it is well with my soul.”

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Anger

SDA JournalSermonNov 5, 2021

Anger is an erroneous zone, a kind of psychological influenza that incapacitates you as a physical disease would... Anger is a choice, as well as a habit. It is a learned reaction to frustration, in which you behave in ways... (read more)

He who goes to bed angry has the devil for a bedfellow. - Old Latin

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it's stored than to anything on which it's poured. - News Press

God’s Word! Scripture points us to the danger and foolishness of anger, but it also directs us with Bible verses about peace, Bible verses about stress, and Bible verses about perseverance. And not all anger is bad. Jesus got angry, but angry for the right reasons: the things that dishonored God and people taking advantage of others.

Let's take a deep look what the Bible said about anger.

"Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil." - Psalm 37:8

"Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly." - Proverbs 14:29

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." - 
Proverbs 15:1

"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention." - Proverbs 15:18

"Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools. - Ecclesiastes 7:9

"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger..." - Ephesians 4:26

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice." - Ephesians 4:31

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." - Ephesians 6:4

"But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth." - Colossians 3:8

"I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling..." - 1 Timothy 2:8

"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger..." - James 1:19

"...for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." - James 1:20

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Husband and wives, stop wasting your time praying

SDA JournalSermonAug 3, 2019

Benson and his wife don't sit next to each other during Church services. Even when going to Church services, they go in different vehicles; and when they travel in the same car, it is usually a very quiet and uncomfortable ride. Benson... (read more)

Benson and his wife don't sit next to each other during Church services.

Even when going to Church services, they go in different vehicles; and when they travel in the same car, it is usually a very quiet and uncomfortable ride.

Benson sat at his usual spot in the Church service; the fourth line on the far left row. His wife sat on the center row.

The Pastor took to the podium.

*"Husbands, stop wasting your time praying"* the Pastor began.

The congregants got alarmed. No one expects to hear a pastor saying prayer is a waste of time.

I am not here to discourage you to pray, but to encourage you to pray right.

Husbands, stop wasting your time praying if you are not treating your wives well.

You come to church driving your expensive cars, giving your offerings and tithes, active in Church, some of you are Church leaders; but how are you treating your wife?

You may look good to us Church members, but it is your wife and children that know who you truly are" said the Pastor.

Benson turned to face his wife. She looked at him. Benson could see her eyes.

Her left eye swollen from the blow he gave her last week when she confronted him about his alcoholism, pornography use and mischievous behavior.

People couldn't tell she had a black eye because of the make up she had on, so well done.

The Pastor continued, "People have perfected the art of cover up. Here in Church, so many are hurting but you wouldn't know.

People come here wearing their nice clothes, shiny smiles, they are active in ministry but hurting a lot in their marriage.

"We have become numb and plastic, brushing things under the carpet. But today we shall heal; and shall address those wounds we hide."

The Pastor cleared his throat and continued, "Many of those who are hurting their spouses are using the church to hide.

They think that because they give offering s and tithes, because they make public prayers, because they read the Word or because they hold a Church leadership position that they are right with God. God is also interested in what you do in your marriage and in your family.

The Word says that when you treat your wife badly, it hinders your prayers. Men, you claim to be prayerful?

Hear this, "Your first ministry is your home. Stop trying to blackmail God with your service in Church yet you are mean and hurtful towards your spouse."

Many of the members of the congregation got restless and unsettled.

The Pastor continued, "Many of those who are being hurt by their spouse hide their pain and want to project an image that all is well to validate that they are blessed and in control.

Some of you are active in Church to run away from the pain in your marriages".

The congregation was silent. Some straightening their ties, others fidgeting with their Bibles, adjusting their sitting position.

This pastor was preaching truth and it was uncomfortable.

The Pastor continued, "The husbands are not the only ones guilty here... Wives, don't you know the Bible says when your husband found you he found good virtuous woman and you brought favour?

Then why are you the source of your husband's headache and stress? Have you been so toxic that you have turned your prayerful husband into a prayer-less one?

Do you make him regret marrying you because you bring more complications than he had before marrying you?

How you treat your husband can be a stumbling block in his walk with God or an environment that encourages growth.

Many of you wives married your individual husbands primarily because of their relationship with God, so why are you now destroying their relationship with God instead of celebrating and nurturing it?

Why are you being a burden to your husband emotionally, spiritually, socially, sexually and financially instead of being one who brings favour?"

Benson's wife looked at her husband. Benson looked at her, and she looked away.

The Pastor paused to drink his glass of water.

And he continued, "When I am thirsty, I drink a glass of water.

When your spouse gets thirsty, will you allow God to use you to bless your spouse?

You've been told many sermons that focus on you as an individual, that God will make you prosper as an individual.

I am here to tell you your blessings are tied to people, you are blessed to be a blessing to others. Our God is not an individualistic God.

Your blessing is tied to your marriage, your family. It's not about you; it is about Jesus and Jesus is about love.

What good is it to prosper and be successful when you have no love? It is all vanity.

God cares about your family, how you treat your spouse and children"

Silence. Silence. Silence...

"Yes, we pray. But what kind of prayers does your spouse pray because of you?

When your spouse prays, is it largely to cry to God because of the hurt you bring?

Is it to plead with God to change you from the monster you've become?

Is it to plead for grace to deal with how difficult you are? Or is to give thanks for you?"

Silence. Silence as grave yard

"Are you really prayerful? Do you really value prayer? What is prayer?

Then why is it that many of you find it easy to come to us pastors for us to pray with you as an individual, you find it is easy to pray in public, in a Church service or Bible study, but find it so hard to pray with your spouse?

Isn't that telling of what is going on in your marriage? Don't you know that the more you pray with your spouse the stronger your marriage will be?

But how can you find it easy to pray with a spouse you hurt or who hurts you?"

The Pastor paused and looked at the congregation. Eyes staring at him.

"I challenge you. I challenge you to pray with your spouse and to treat your spouse well.  You must save your home, your marriage, your love!

Husbands, you are the head of the home. I challenge you to stand up and go to where your wife is and pray with her as a start of a more prayerful chapter in your marriage.

Don't do it because I asked you to but because you want to. Your choice"

One by one, the husbands present stood up.

Benson stood up too.

Benson walked to where his wife was.

The face of Benson's wife overwhelmed with love, she looked on as her husband walked to her.

She almost stood up but he gave hand gestures at her to stay seated.

Benson reached where she sat. Their eyes met.

Benson knelt down. He stared at her then kissed her swollen left eye.

"I am sorry" he said.

"Can I pray with you?" He asked.

She got up from her seat and knelt down too.

There, on the floor as the Church service was still ongoing, husbands prayed with their wives.

Benson prayed kneeling with his wife.

They prayed for forgiveness, for thanksgiving, for love, for renewal, for peace, for direction; for their marriage.

Marriages were healed.

If You have been blessed by this message please share. You might just be saving a marriage at the verge of being broken.

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